The day had
approached, the day Joseph Stephens would finally be rid of all of his enemies
all in one fell swoop. Joseph Stephens was a kind and gentle soul but for
various reason he had gathered a few enemies. Though they were not constant
threats, allowing them to live would risk potential danger in the future.
Jaye
Williams heard that all of Joseph’s foes would be gathering in the same city
for one day only. The reason was a mystery, but the fact remained that they had
all come out of hiding and now was the time for Joseph to strike.
Joseph’s
enemies included a sword wielding dog who lost his honor long ago in a game of
chance, a rat woman that ate children and hid in train stations and last was
the sun. Every summer the sun would let his awful daughter July roam the land
and spread heat waves and awful direct sunlight onto the world. Kill the sun
would show July to show some respect and it would mean Joseph could say goodbye
to heatstroke, heat sickness, sunburn and the unpleasant feelings that heat
brought.
All of his
enemies gathered in the city of Ales. Down town Ales was also known as Drunk
town. Drunks would clutter the subways, trains and streets. Some would even
have kids with them. A drunk pushing a stroller across the street was not
uncommon in such a hive of unpleasantness.
Joseph
Stephens and Jaye Williams hurtled down the highway on a makeshift motorcycle
that Jaye Williams built in his garage. The vehicle was barely street legal and
looked like a golem made of spare parts or some kind of awful junkyard dog
robot. If the motorcycle could speak it would either be completely insane or
cry out for death. It was Jaye’s finest creation and he loved it as much as a
man could love a motorcycle/robot/golom/dog/junkpile/sin against nature.
Jaye drove
and Joseph rode on the back, feeling a little awkward sitting on the back of
the motorcycle, clutching onto Jaye’s torso for deal life. Also he wondered if
other cars thought they were dating, because in his mind, couples usually rode
motorcycles in this manner. The drivers of the other cars didn’t have a chance
to wonder if the motorgolom’s drivers were dating or if they were even human,
because the motormonster drove so fast that it looked like god had hurled
garbage down the highway. Truly it was a marvel to behold, or not behold,
depending on where you were standing.
The city
was fast approaching and Joseph couldn’t wait to get the fighting started,
these jerks had it coming and the two friends came prepared. The motorcycle had
weapons strapped to every inch of it and Joseph had several weapons on his back
and strapped to a belt on his waist. Joseph was coming to Ales city and he was
bring hell with him.
The
illustrious city of Ales had a beautiful uptown district where all the rich
snobs got blasted in the lap of luxury. The buildings were tall and impressive,
the shops were stylish and the bars were numerous. Businessmen walked down the
streets saying buzz words at each other and stroking their egos as they spoke.
Jaye and
Joseph wandered the streets with weapons strapped to their backs, no one
questioned it or stopped them. One police officer finally did stop the duo and
asked about the weapons. “We’re cosplayers” Replied Jaye. The police officer
scoffed and then smiled and walked off.
After
walking the streets for several hours, Joseph finally spotted a lead. The Sun,
or the spirit of the sun was outside of a coffee shop ordering a large coffee.
The actual sun, earths sun still was in the sky warming the earth, but the
entity known as “The sun” or “Solus” could travel between earth and earths sun.
“Solus!” Joseph shouted and charged at the embodiment of heat. Solus glanced at
Joseph with a bored look and sipped his coffee. “DO you remember me?!” Joseph
shouted, loudly enough to make the coffee shop clerk back away slowly. “No.
Should I know you?” Solus asked sounding somehow more uninterested by the
second. “I fight with your daughter July every summer, I curse your name every
time I get heat stroke” Joseph said in disbelief. “Well, a lot of people hate
July and cursing my name doesn’t do anything but use up your own breath” Solus
said, sounding so disinterested that he almost stopped talking mid sentence.
Joseph was
feeling discouraged. He wondered if all of his enemies were built up in his
head, what if none of them even knew he existed and all of this vengeance was
the act of a sad weirdo with too many weapons. Before Joseph had a chance to
call off the vengeance mission Jaye Williams reached for a weapon on his back
and shouted “CLAAAAWWW HAMMMMMAAAHH!!!” then hurled a claw hammer at Solus’
head. The hammer whirled through the air and struck Solus firmly in his fiery
orb of a dome. This jolted the heat spirit and made him spill his coffee.
Solus was
instantly furious, flames erupted from the ground around him as he roared
loudly into the air. “WHO did that?!” Solus shouted. Jaye was standing behind
Joseph and was pointing wildly at Joseph. “You! Joseph! You will forever be my
enemy and will curse the day you crossed me!” Solus shouted as his arm shout
forward and his finger plucked out from his fist, forming a very menacing
finger point in Joseph’s direction. “Yussss!!!” Joseph cheered. Finally the
feelings were mutual and they could fight without Joseph feeling guilty. “Jaye,
you are a true friend” Joseph said with a warm smile. Just then a fireball was
hurled through the air and blasted Joseph backward into a building. “No problem
buddy” Replied Jaye to his charred friend.
Joseph
smiled as he stood up. He reached into his bag of weapons and pulled out a
giant sword. The sword was four feet long and had a lighting bolt engraved into
the center of it. A purple gem rested in the red hilt and the gem also had a
lighting bolt symbol. This was the sword of storms, an ancient weapon that
could call forth storms, rain, thunder and lighting and be wielded as the
swordsman saw fit. Joseph found it at a garage sale and bought it for twenty
bucks. He haggled it down from thirty bucks to twenty and felt proud about it
all day.
Solus
gathered his strength and formed a flaming sword in his hand. “I am the father
of fire and heat. You have no hope to defeat me!” Solus exclaimed. Joseph
raised his sword into the air and rain began to pour from the sky. Thunder
boomed and lighting cracked against the sky. All of the drunks had to move
indoors to drink also.
Steam rose
up from Solus as he was pelted by rain. “Nice trick, but I am not defeated from
a bucket of water” He exclaimed, clearing enjoying his own voice. Then before
Joseph could blink Solus had crossed the ten feet between them and was able to
slash his flaming sword right through Joseph. Joseph’s eyes went wide, he
stumbled and fell. His bag full of weapons clattered to the ground and his
shoulder smashed against the pavement, landing on it with the full weight of
his body. Inside the backpack a jar was smashed. A glowing purple fairy was
freed from the jar and began to buzz around Joseph. The glowing sprite was
swearing and cursing at Joseph in fairy language as it buzzed around. To a
human it all seemed very magical. Joseph remembered the healing powers of
fairies and quickly snatched it out of the air, popped it into his mouth and
chewed it up.
Joseph was
filled with a renewed energy and purpose. His strength returned and his will to
fight was bolstered. “Thank you delicious fairy. Thank you” Joseph muttered
under his breath, then a single tear fell from his eye in her memory. Joseph
looked up at Solus with rage in his eyes only to be greeted by the sight of
Solus being pummeled by a claw hammer being wielded by Jaye Williams. He was
laughing like an insane elf and whacking the sun spirit with all of his might.
“Bap bap bap bap! Claw hammer! Did you forget who you were dealing with?” Jaye
shouted. Jaye’s claw hammer also had a gem in it, the gem rested in the handle
of the hammer, the gem was red and it had a symbol of a hand giving someone the
middle finger. Scholars everywhere have yet to determine what kind of magic the
red gem held, or if any at all.
Solus laid
on the side walk defeated, broken and rained on. “Now you go back to your sun
and stop being such a jerk about the weather!” Joseph shouted. Solus slowly
stood up and nodded meekly. “As you wish” he said then turned into a ball of
fire and took off into the sky.
