Soldiers Memory

            The rain poured down oppressively. The sky was dark and a small girl named Jill stood in the pouring rain. Jill was eight, wore a nice spring dress and had bare feet. She danced through the rain, ignoring the gloom of the day or how drenched she was getting. Her mother called her name “Jill its time to come inside and wash up” Said her mother, who had her head poked out of the upstairs window to their house. Jill looked out and surveyed the backyard during this rainstorm like it was a great wilderness or some kind of tropical jungle. A look of amazement filled her eyes as her mind pieced together the ‘missing pieces’ of what her eyes left out. “Jill, Now!” Her mother said. Time must have passed between Jill’s warnings, but the girl was so caught up in the wonderment of nature that she lost track of herself and time.

            “Jill!” yelled a voice with extreme urgency. Rain poured down in buckets. The ground was more mud than dirt at this point. A heavily armed soldier ran over to Jill, a look of fear and desperation filled his eyes. “Jill! Answer me!” Jill opened her eyes and looked up. “Mom?” Jill said. “Get it together!” Said the soldier. “Jill shook her head. and her vision cleared. “Sergeant Myers!” Jill replied. Myers nodded and smiled “Lets get you up soldier, we need you on your feet” He said. Jill shakily stood up. As she stood her memories came rushing back. They were in battle and a bomb went off, the explosion sent her flying and the shockwave knocked her out. “I think I’m ok” Jill said. She was also heavily armed and carried the same standard weaponry as her fellow soldiers.

            Gunshots were fired and bullets whizzed passed the two soldiers. “Get down” Said Myers. They both dropped down into the mud and readied their weapons. “Jake, Thank you for coming to get me. I just want you to know you have been a great friend and commanding officer” Jill said. She held her gun steady and aimed unwavering. When she spoke to Sergeant Myers it was with a professional tone. She didn’t know if either of them would survive this battle, but she wasn’t going to fall to pieces either. They were both trained soldiers. “Its Still Sergeant Myers, Private. And we will be fine” Myers replied.

            Rain poured down, thunder rang out and lighting struck off in the distance. The fighting grew more intense and it seemed like hell was crashing down around them. Between the weather and gunfire Jill could no longer hear Myers giving orders. She kept shooting. Enemy soldiers lined up into her sights and she picked them off, one by one. As she watched each body fall, she tried to ignore her memories as they conflicted with her harsh realities. “If I survive this, I’ll deal with it then” She thought. Jill needed to stay focused.

            The battle raged on, but despite chaos a deep seeded memory lingered in Jill’s mind. This full grown woman, who had so many life experiences, joined the military, killed and watched her friends die, she was once just a little girl. She was a little girl who like to play in the rain and mud. She was curious about nature and like wearing pretty dresses.

            When moments like that pass, when people change and times get tough. It is important to reflect on those precious moments and remember who you are. To keep a piece of your true self regardless of what life throws at you.

Magic in the rain

The rain beats down behind me, my body is soothed by the sweet sound of rain pattering on the leaves outside. Many don’t understand the feeling, they don’t see the magic in the rain. But I’ve lived long enough to know there is something special there, that rain is indeed magic.

            Any weather can change the scenery so dramatically and with every weather type it can trigger a new emotion. When it rains I feel a mix of happiness and sadness, a sort of nostalgia. If you have fond memories from when it rains, then those memories are all linked together by the rain. The rain brings them out of you feeling almost as fresh and new as the first time. Like unpacking Christmas decorations. You have memories so deeply connected to those simple objects you can remember every good and bad moment when you look at them.

            The world is a little more peaceful when it rains, and you notice this more when you go out into the rain. No people and almost no cars on the road, just the rain, you and your thoughts. The skies take on a light gray color, causing any and all surrounded lights to shine even more brilliantly.  A single lamppost might go unnoticed normally, but when it rains the light from that lamp shines so beautifully. The contrast of the bright light as it peers out into the darkness and fog. This might be why I love lighthouses so much, especially on a rainy day. There is something comforting about a bright light or beacon shining out from the darkness, guiding everyone to shore. The darkness of night and the gray skies of a rainstorm can’t shut off the light.

            I think of all of this and sigh happily. I am sure there is a scientific reason to explain away why I feel how I feel about the rain, but I do not care. For me, rain is magic and as long as I live I will continue to believe so.

            The rain is slowly dying away and with it, so goes my inspiration. I hope you enjoyed my rambling fellow traveler and I hope you find your magic in the rain.

Day in the life

            Pain boils over, every inch of his body screams out for the end of it all, for sweet eternal sleep that will stop they wretched struggle of being alive. His body shook as his limbs twisted and writhed. A lights and sound rush past him, strange voices are heard. Then he feels piercing pain in his arm. He winces but then feels a flood of calmness wash over his body. Calm and relaxation in liquid form rushes through his veins. Everything becomes peaceful and the world goes dark. This is not the first time he has had such an experience and it wont be the last time. His name is Joe and he is nine years old.

            Joe was born with illness and will live the rest of his life with it. Pain, followed by surgery or long hospital visits then weeks of recovery. Joe thinks about his father’s old car. His dad had the car for so long it was mostly made out of spare parts. Joe feels like that car. Always breaking down and made of spare parts. He wasn’t born lucky enough to have a powerful engine or a dent resistant frame, Joe feels more like a beat up old sedan. This nine year old feels more aches and pains and has a longer medical history than his parents and rivals his grandparents.

            Many found it impressive that a child could handle such a huge burden and they couldn’t even grasp how he dealt with the pain. Joe couldn’t understand or grasp what it felt like to not be in pain. This was life and he knew no other way of being.

            In the weeks of recovery that followed a big flare up, Joe had a lot of free time at home, more than a normal child would have. He would spend hours in his room and think or sometimes read his little books. But this favorite thing was playing video games.

            He heard a large round man acting important and saying bad things about video games. “They corrupt today’s youth” and “all games are violent and lead to more violence”. Joe didn’t understand most of this. The games he played were wonderful. One afternoon he saved the world, or at least made a lot of progress toward saving the world. “Saving the world is a big job to do all before dinner” Joe said to his parents one evening during dinner when asked about his games.

            His games let him fly airplanes and drive fast cars. He could help people and find magical gems. He beat up bad guys, solved puzzles and one time built a city. Some games even let him hang out with his favorite super heroes from the comics. Video games were pure joy to him. In a world where a nine year old is fighting against his own body because of disease and illness sometimes it was nice to leave and visit a different world. A world where the rules were fair and everyone had a chance if they tried hard enough. A world where you were important and powerful and evil didn’t win.

            Joe grew up playing games. They gave him hope and set in his mind a subconscious will to fight. He began to see his illness like the evil wizard of one of his games. A thing that made people sad that he could fight against. Something that could be beaten and lead him to a happily ever after.

            Years passed and there was always some fool who had a problem with video games, but luckily the games stayed and Joe had another world to escape to and a fight he always felt like he could win.