Elegy of Gali

I wrote this over a year ago before my cat Gali died. I had this cat for 19 years. so almost my whole life. Before she died I knew the end was coming and stayed up worrying about it. this is the result. I am posting it now because I feel like it might be able to help others with grief over death. 

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I’m sorry. I am sorry that there is nothing I can do to help you. You sit blissfully unaware as I lose sleep. What a joke, some might find it funny that I am getting so worked up over this.

My life span is almost five times as long as yours. I saw you being born, I watched with the eyes of an adult, and with those same eyes I will watch you die. Life is so fleeting. Days seem to drag on like years, yet years fly by in seconds. I blink and you are fully-grown, I blink again and you have been dead for months.

I feel like god watching mortals. This is the only time I have heard of being god as a bad thing. I watch you grow up and grow strong and have the burden to watch you slowly weaken. The frailty of your life reminds me of the inevitable nature of my own.

I cry because I don’t want to lose you, then I continue to cry because I don’t want to die. The irony is that despite my long life span and vast knowledge, it is you that comforts me. You don’t know why I am upset but you want me to feel better. Actually I can’t imagine how you must see the world. Living a comparatively short life, completely ignorant of death and disease.

Maybe it is you who should feel bad for me. After all, you are the one asleep and I am the one writing this down at 2am.

Rain Eternal

The pouring rain, I can hear it. I stare off at a freshly plowed road, snow continues to fall in defiance of the humans who attempt to remove the frozen nuisance from their path. Dirty snow sits in clumps and mounds at the edge of every road and walkway. Winter has dragged on long enough, like a pest that refuses to leave the house or an ex who refuses to stop calling your phone, the winter wears out its welcome.

            The gentle fall of snow is deceptive, it looks like something delicate and pure. The sight of it should calm any who look upon it, but the snow slows travel and accumulates in such mass that its removal causes more hardship on the lives that are already dealing with such of pain. Delicate but consuming, it comes around every year and stays till there is nothing left of you. The cold is bitter, it pains my bones and tenses my muscles. The gray sky depresses and the winter drags on.

            I can hear the rain, I hear it approaching. I close my eyes and I can almost hear the sound of raindrops on my roof. I can still remember the fresh smell of the air after the rain and the cool refreshing breeze of spring. My spirit is tired and worn from years of cold air touching my skin. Some may say the rain is depressing, but I say it is not. Rain is life. It is Water from the heavens pouring down on the people, nourishing the land and warming out spirits.

            The rain will come, when I do not know. But when it does I will leave this land of strife. I will walk outside, into the rain and disappear. To be transported to a place of warm air and rain eternal. This is my dream.