I wrote this over a year ago before my cat Gali died. I had this cat for 19 years. so almost my whole life. Before she died I knew the end was coming and stayed up worrying about it. this is the result. I am posting it now because I feel like it might be able to help others with grief over death.
-------------------------------------------------------
I’m sorry. I am sorry that there is
nothing I can do to help you. You sit blissfully unaware as I lose sleep. What
a joke, some might find it funny that I am getting so worked up over this.
My life span is almost five times
as long as yours. I saw you being born, I watched with the eyes of an adult,
and with those same eyes I will watch you die. Life is so fleeting. Days seem
to drag on like years, yet years fly by in seconds. I blink and you are
fully-grown, I blink again and you have been dead for months.
I feel like god watching mortals.
This is the only time I have heard of being god as a bad thing. I watch you
grow up and grow strong and have the burden to watch you slowly weaken. The
frailty of your life reminds me of the inevitable nature of my own.
I cry because I don’t want to lose
you, then I continue to cry because I don’t want to die. The irony is that
despite my long life span and vast knowledge, it is you that comforts me. You
don’t know why I am upset but you want me to feel better. Actually I can’t
imagine how you must see the world. Living a comparatively short life,
completely ignorant of death and disease.
Maybe it is you who should feel bad
for me. After all, you are the one asleep and I am the one writing this down at
2am.
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