Maze Mind

            My mind winds like a maze, twisting and going off in every direction. Solutions can be found but only through the most complicated thought process. Some never make it past the front door, others die halfway through. I sometimes get stuck in my own maze, losing track of time and forgetting why I even came there in the first place.

            The maze is filled with things. Fantasy creatures, trees, rain, autumn days and snowy nights by the fireplace. Cats wander through freely, never getting lost and always comfortable wherever they end up. Dead ends are a regular occurrence, often with walls made from distractions, bright lights, colors, catchy music, doubt and painkillers.

            The twisting halls could be considered beautiful and complex but I find them tiring and most find them annoying. Point A does not always lead to point B even though I wish it could.

            Stephen sits and talks to a friend. “So I brought my cat to the vet, she has bad teeth, anyway, so I got her all checked out and her teeth cleared, the vet was like 800 dollars for the whole operation. (That’s too much detail). So yeah I was pretty nervous about paying that much (Stop talking so much, get to the point. They stopped listening) oh! So anyway I spent all my money on the Vet, my cat is doing fine by the way, so do you think I could borrow a few dollars for gas?”….

Conversations spiral out of control and the more I talk the more nervous I get. I get lost in my own mind, the maze gets bigger and the walls grow higher. (Didn’t I come through this way already? Did I just repeat myself for the third time?). Point of the story, the point of the conversation. What is the point of my thought? Was there a point? Is my brain just giving me words to fill the empty space in between events?

            When a slow song about missing someone comes on the radio and I immediately blurt out “Oh this reminds me of a video game” people look at me funny. If I led them through the path that started from sad song to video game it would make sense but most don’t have the energy for it and those that try tend to get lost. Others use their own guidelines, their brain uses its own logic to navigate my Maze. But I doubt their mind is built like mine, so often they give up. When I do finally find a way through it seems the journey wasn’t even worth the trouble. One person knows how this one song, reminds me of this one video game. But they don’t care and I wasted energy.

            A dead end of doubt is added to my maze.