It was
St.Patrick’s day, the day when people with any amount of Irish blood celebrated
their heritage and try to feel like part of something larger than themselves
while getting blasted drunk. Joseph Stephens and Jaye Williams weren’t normally
drinkers but on St. Patrick’s day they decided it would be rude to not help
celebrate.
Joseph
Stephens and Jaye Williams walked down the street on their way to “Irish
mcpatty’s Irish clover themed pub and bar” Everyone just called it “The Clover”
some residence even asked the owner of the bar to change the name to “The
clover” but the owner refused. The owner was Italian.
“So do you have any Irish in you?” Asked Jaye. “Yeah, my great
great grandfather came here from Ireland, good old Herbert Ramshackle Stephens”
Joseph replied. Out of all of the Stephens family Herbert Stephens was the most
memorable, but that is another story for another time.
“What about
you, any luck of the Irish in your veins?” Joseph asked “eh?! No, yeah, well
maybe. I was raised by wolves” Jaye replied casually. Joseph knew wolves didn’t
raise Jaye, Jaye’s parents attended the large thanksgiving dinner in town.
Joseph thought for a moment “His parents looked human, wait…were they wolves in
disguise? Can wolves do that? They didn’t look especially Irish, is there even
such a thing as Irish wolves? There’s wolves in Ireland, right?” Joseph thought
to himself. The whole time Joseph was quiet and continued to walk with a
furrowed brow and focused eyes. “You were raised by Irish wolves that can walk
and talk like people?!” Joseph finally shouted after ten straight minutes of
silence. Jaye didn’t even flinch or react he just casually said “Yeah, that’s
right”
Finally the
two friends arrived at “The Clover”. The outside of the bar was brown wood
panels with painted green trim and a cobblestone path that led to the door. The
two walked into the bar, which was packed full of people wearing green and
drinking Irish beer and Irish Whiskey. Some people were drinking green beer,
light beer with green food coloring, and they were shunned. Joseph was wearing
a forest green spring jacket, a dark green shirt, black pants and brown shoes.
Jaye was wearing a weathered old dark green hoodie, under that he had on a
bright lime green t-shirt, blue jeans and purple and yellow sneakers.
The bar was
decorated in Celtic Irish patterns, deep green, dark oak and an over all rustic
appearance. Joseph and Jaye walked up to the bartender who was a redheaded
woman named Jill. “what can I do for you lads?” asked the bartender. “Two dark
beers and two shots of Irish whiskey” Said Joseph Stephens. “Yo, dude. You sure
you don’t need, like a green milkshake or something? Hey Bartender, I think
these two kids snuck in” said a loud douchebro wearing a lime green polo shirt
and drinking a green beer.
Joseph
Stephens was a very young looking for a guy in his mid twenties and Jaye didn’t
look too much older. Both men were the same age and could only grow a little
facial hair. The Bartender just sighed and Jaye patted Joseph’s shoulder
“Settle down slaps, its ok” Jaye said. Joseph was noticeably upset but he
calmed himself. Joseph got his drinks and did his shot at the bar. Jaye did his
shot and then the two walked off to find a table. Celtic music was playing in
the background and Joseph really enjoyed Irish alcohol, though he rarely drank.
Joseph took a single sip of his dark beer. The flavor was terrific. It was just
the right amount of bitter and savory, the aroma made him feel happy and
nostalgic all at once. Joseph and Jaye smiled as they both took large sips of
their beer. It was a great moment, but the moment quickly ended when Joseph was
shoved by the Lime shirt douchebro. “You ignoring me bro?” Asked the Bro.
Joseph stumbled and dropped his glass. Time slowed to a crawl as he watched his
almost full glass of dark beer tumble to the ground, hit the floor then
shatter. Beer splashed everyone around and several people were annoyed. The
moment the beer hit the ground Joseph was already mid punch. Joseph decked the
Bro in the face as hard as he could. The Bro stumbled backward, enraged that
someone stood up to him and touched his face. Furious and with wounded pride
the douchebro attacked. Jaye lifted a chair up over his had and smashed it down
onto the Bro, which sent him crumpling to the ground. “Chair” Jaye said
casually. “Not the same ring to it as Claw hammer” Joseph replied.
The crowd
of drunk customers began to slowly make their way to the exit. Normally fights
would excite a crowd but for some reason this crowd seemed worried. “Bro, did
you beat our bro?” Asked a man in a black robe. “yeah, but he had it coming.
Who are you?” Asked Jaye. “We are the party council, and I am Wizard Bro. If
you start beef with one of us, you start it with all of us” Said WizBro. “Are
you joking?” Joseph said in disbelief. “Weird stuff just follows you” Jaye
whispered. Wizbro began to wave his hands through the air and then brought his
hands out, electricity surged through his hands and came out from his palms in
a stream of electrical energy. Joseph and Jaye jumped out of the way as the
electrical energy turned the tables and chairs to ash. The electricity also
consumed DouchBro. “Oh, dude, bro. Sorry about that. Inform his next of bro”
Said Wizbro to another jerky looking guy.
“This is
nuts! How are we supposed to fight magic?” Jaye shouted over the sound of the
bar being torn up by electricity. “We find the legendary Irish Stout. A dark
beer so delicious and legendary that it gives the person who drinks it
incredible powers, also makes them drunk” Said Joseph. “That sounds made up”
replied Jaye. “you weren’t really raised by wolves” replied Joseph. “Was too!”
said Jaye. “Hey, idiots. The cellar of this pub has keg of legendary Irish
stout, go get some and stop that jerk from destroying the bar!” The redheaded
bartended shouted.
The two
friends nodded and ran behind the bar and the bartended opened a hatch that led
to the basement. The two men jumped down into the musty basement. It was dark
and filled with different kinds of alcohol bottles, kegs and casks. The
bartender closed the hatch and hid behind the bar swearing under her breath as
the Bros wrecked the place. “Where did they go?” Shouted one of the Bros.
No comments:
Post a Comment