Fall Pysche

The winter has affected my psyche. I sit in my chair with my back to the window, I know its cold and snowing outside but I refuse to acknowledge it. Like a severed head on your floor, you don’t want to look at it, but you know its there. No matter how much you lie to yourself you will still have a severed head on your floor.

            While many hope for the warm days of spring, I wish for the cool rainy days of spring. The cool crisp air that makes me feel alive. There are two seasons with such weather, early spring and the middle of autumn. Even though autumn is my favorite season I try not to think about it during the winter. In the months of January and February, Autumn is more finished than it is arriving. To think of autumn now would be wishing for a huge chunk of my life to be whisked away, simply to enjoy the shortest season of the year and then be forced to endure winter all over again.

            I know not to wish my life away, but occasionally I will hear a song or smell a fragrance that reminds me of autumn. Something deep in my subconscious will light up and I will be stunned by my memories of the season. I have heard that people always remember the best parts of their past and some things should be left in the past. Nothing can live up to your expectation of that one moment you had all those years ago. I would say this is true, I will keep my memories as they are, just memories. The Fall season is the exception. Every year it is just as wonderful as I remembered it. The feel of the air, the sights, the smells, it all takes me back to a simple time and life seems joyous. Never in my life would I even think to use a word such as joyous, except in the Fall.

             Autumn is almost magical, the trees seem to explode with color. Bright vibrant colors of red, orange and yellow. Autumn is like a bright burning flame or fireworks in the sky, quick, beautiful and memorable. The season that takes the lush green of the world and explodes with colors most places on earth don’t get to ever see. Then just like that, it is over. The cool crisp air is gone and replaced by a bitter wind. The world seems much darker and you just want the light back.

            So for the sake of my short human existence I force myself to see the light in each season. Spring is a solid companion, it never disappoints. It is friendly and inviting, and is a nice change of scenery after a long winter. Spring might give way to summer too easily, but spring is still a friend of mine. Summer and Winter are more like unwanted house guests, Strong and fat, they throw their weight around, bullying the transitional seasons. Despite their arrogance, I try to enjoy their company too.

            Here I sit, writing my stories and dreaming of autumn. I listen to music that reminds of the fall and try to ignore the bloody head of February weather.

Maybe if I try really hard I can convince myself it is a more pleasant season………………………..

Happy Halloween everyone!